There are a lot of weird Craiglist ads bouncing around the Internet.
You can get anything from a cronut to a last minute wedding date to a butt-shaped pumpkin.
At this point, even Craigslist is in on the ridiculous ways the site is being used. To drum up some fun, brand-related chatter, Craigslist went on Quora to ask users to name the best Craigslist advertisements of all time.
And to top it off, there's a "best of Craigslist" section on the site.
We've collected the good, bad, but mostly bizarre.
Craigslist listed one of its favorites as this ad for a "Real Rock Drummer for NON-pussy band." The dude's wig is a real selling point.
And "Jesus Tap-Dancing Christ!" Craigslist also couldn't help but mention this intricately designed ad for a used Grand Am. Because, according to the post's hyperbolic language, every woman since the dawn of 1995 has said, "There are three things I want in a guy: Tall, Dark, and drives a f***ing teal Grand Am."
Quora users upvoted Joanna Cohen's favorite like crazy. This was an ad for a black microbiology student named Carlton "offering my services as an authentic African American to help you protect your biggest investment, your home." He'll do everything in your yard from studying with a Hispanic friend to donning a temporary tattoo.
It reads:
“If you live in a predominately white neighborhood in the Raleigh area, and are worried about home security, I am willing to offer my services. Alarm systems can be disabled, and are sometimes unreliable. The best defense is to stop criminal activity before it ever arrives at your property. My name is Carlton, I am an African American student at Duke University, and am currently working on my PhD in Microbiology. I am offering my services as an authentic African American to help you protect your biggest investment, your home. My different levels of service are as follows:
“Level 1- For $100, my microbiology study group will meet in your front yard each afternoon and study for approximately 3 hours. There are four of us: 3 are black, one is Hispanic. We will wear baggy clothes, gold chains, and we will turn our hats around backwards for the entire time we study.
“Level 2- For $350, each of us will wear temporary tattoos that have Chinese writing. We will also arrive at your home in my father's Escalade, which has large rims and low profile tires, and play Snoop Dogg the entire time we study.
“Level 3- For $600, we will take out shirts off and study topless. None of the members of the study group drink or smoke, but at this level we will drink IBC Root Beer on your property, and occasionally put candy ciggarettes in our mouths as if we were smoking. We also put a temporary decal on the front of Ecalade that reads, “Gangsta” in an ethnic looking font.
“Level 4- For $1,000, you get our premiere service package. At this level, we will study for 6 hours at your property from 9:00 in the evening until 3:00 in the morning. Please keep in mind, if you are going to be home durring those hours, the Snoop Dog music is optional. At this level, we also call each other by code names. Instead of Carlton, I will be known as Jamal.
“Let me assure you, nothing deters crime like authentic black people on your property, wearing baggy clothes and listening to rap music.”
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